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Self-Compassion

Dear Light Workers,

The October holiday is just around the corner and for those who will be travelling, I wish you safe travels. The rest of us that will be spending time in Shanghai, I wish you a relaxing and self loving week.

Light Workers that have been following my work for a while, you know that I am a self-love advocate and for new comers, yes, I am all for self-loving behaviours. :-)

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Therefore, this month I’d like to talk about how we could love ourselves more (and I don’t mean the narcissistic way).

 

Was there a time when you were too harsh with yourself, or judgmental? Consider how adopting a more self-compassionate stance might change things for you, for the better.

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I think the world needs more self-compassion now than ever before. We need more self-compassion so that therefore we have the resources to actually give compassion to others. It requires us to have some courage to learn how to open our hearts to ourself, to learn to accept ourselves as we are.  And when we do, when we persist, I promise you it can really change and better your life; and also allow you to give to those you love in a much deeper and more fulfilling manner.

 

So what is self-compassion? Technically speaking, self-compassion is the extension of kindness, care, warmth, and understanding (instead of beratement and criticism) toward oneself when faced with shortcomings, inadequacies, failures and adversities.

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Huh?  What does that mean?

 

Self-compassion is the care and nurturing we offer ourselves when we make mistakes, embarrass ourselves, or come short of a goal we were hoping to achieve. It is the acknowledgment of our pain, and the rejection of the notion that we should just “tough it out.”

 

To make it easier for you to practice self-compassion, please remember the 3 A’s of Self-Compassion:

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1st Acknowledgement: To be aware and be mindful of what you are going through or experiencing is indeed hard and painful; and to let yourself know that it is ok. It takes courage to admit to yourself that you are hurting and that you do not want to feel those uncomfortable emotions. Say out loud and acknowledge your pain. It also involves recognising that suffering and personal inadequacy is part of the shared human experience – something that we all go through rather than being something that happens to “me” alone.

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2nd Allowance: To allow ourself to make mistakes, even if it’s a major boo-boo. It means to honour and accept ourself unconditionally. To accept your own humanness and accept that in life, you will encounter a number of unfortunate circumstances, sometimes where you’re the one at fault because we humans are fallible.

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3rd Activate: To actively motivate yourself to take the next kind action. (e.g. Hey, I know you are hurting, I am here for you, how can I help? What would you have me do? etc.) Feel free to give yourself a hug. Self-compassion is to activate grace for oneself.

 

So the next time you notice you are suffering or hurting, I urge you to practice the 3 A’s of Self-Compassion — it is self-loving.

 

Until next month, feel free to come over to my website:  www.barbarakiao.com and give me your feedback; I would love to hear from you.

 

Happy October Holiday! Barbara’17]

 

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